Spooky Sunday: "Monster Squad" & Wacky Cake
A birthday mash-up of my two childhood favorites
Hi All! After a brief summertime hiatus, we’re back! And what better occasion to jump back in than on my own thirty-[REDACTED]th birthday!
As a little gift to myself, this Sunday we’ll be invoking two major touchstones of my youth, starting with my MOST reliable sleepover flick, The Monster Squad (1987) directed by Fred Dekker and written by Dekker and Shane Black.
What It’s About:
“The Monster Squad” is a group of suburban pre-teen outcasts drawn together by their love of old monster movies. But when the real Count Dracula moves to town, they realize it’s up to them to defeat him and his army of darkness before he conquers the world.
Armed with their encyclopedic knowledge of monster lore, and assisted by a child-like Frankenstein, they face off against not only Dracula, but also The Wolf Man, The Mummy, The Creature From The Black Lagoon and a trio of vampiresses.
Who’s Good In It:
Comparisons to The Goonies were often made in reviews of the time, but that does a disservice to both young casts. There’s a real charm to the unpolished pluckiness of the child actors in Monster Squad, a sense of earnest wonder/fear that makes the film much more funny, frightening and endearing than you might expect from an 80’s ode to Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein.
Meanwhile, the adult cast is even more stellar. This iteration of Dracula, played with genuine malice by Duncan Regehr, is for my money, one of cinema history’s most horrific portrayals of the iconic vampire. This is a Count who grabs a kindergartener by the chin, lifts her 6 feet in the air and hisses “Give me the amulet, you B-TCH!”
Tom Noonan’s Frankenstein Monster is Spielberg-level sympathetic. One scene where he weeps over a plastic monster mask depicting his own face, is so disarmingly devastating, it rivals the pathos of Karloff’s famed performance as Shelley’s creation.
Rounding things out, the obligatory parents, played by Steven Macht & Mary Ellen Trainor (who ALSO played the mom in The Goonies) act their faces off in a surprisingly raw depiction of a marriage on the rocks.
And last but certainly not least is Jon Gries (of “Uncle Rico” and White Lotus fame) as The Wolf Man. Rendering the doomed werewolf in his human form with all the drama of a man strapped to dynamite, Gries is a real standout. When a silver bullet finally sets him free in the finale, don’t be surprised if his final “Thank you” causes you to shed a tear.
Scene With The Best Cozy Vibe
There’s lots of backlot Americana woven throughout this movie. including a Hughes-ian musical montage where the kids prepare wooden stakes and silver bullets. But the scene where the Squad’s leader Sean and his dad eat burgers on the roof while watching a drive-in slasher through binoculars will scratch every nostalgic itch in your 80’s kid brain.
Scene That Will Spook Your Whole Ass Off
A surprisingly competitive race. For me, it’s gotta be between the Wolf Man’s grisly phone booth transformation as he desperately tries to warn Sean’s parents that Dracula’s on his way.
Aaaand the Mummy’s final attack on the Squad as they try to escape him via a neighbor’s Jeep. Just look at this creature design!
Stray Thoughts
I was first introduced to Monster Squad by the manager of our local video rental spot when I was 6 years old. I then proceeded to rent it every other Friday (alongside Clue) for the next 3 years. This is not an exaggeration. Every other Friday and occasionally multiple uninterrupted Fridays in a row. Why we never bought either VHS is a mystery to me even now.
At the time, I think I was so thrilled by it because it was a scary movie that I felt brave watching. Like many so-called “family” movies of the 80’s, like Poltergeist, Lost Boys and Gremlins, this is a PG-13 film that doesn’t pull any punches. While there’s very little gore to be found, Monster Squad features horrific visuals, tragic & shocking deaths, and children in the direst of peril. Dracula is trying to KILL these kids. He throws a stick of dynamite into their treehouse! And worse yet, the adults in this world are helpless to save them. They watch as the Gill Man crushes the skulls of multiple police officers!
Let’s be clear. This is a movie for kids, albeit an imperfect one. (Be warned: there are plenty of moments that haven’t aged well: crass language about women and multiple uses of the f-slur.) But despite its warts, Monster Squad marked a rite of passage for me: from being scared of monsters, to enjoying them. Maybe that’s why I showed this film to every friend of mine from 1993-2009 (and even to my husband on our second date in 2012. Yes, really.)
Alongside the lush production design, artful cinematography and Dekker’s tight direction, the movie really rests on the shoulders of Stan Winston and his team. Their creature designs borrow affectionately from The Universal Monsters, but bring them into the “Freddy & Jason” decade, making them more contemporary, graphic and nightmarish. The Gill-Man’s piranha-like face, the Mummy’s broken jaw, The Wolf Man’s warped snout, they all feel as if they’ve just sprung from the doodles in a child’s sketchbook, which is maybe what makes them all so timeless.
I love this movie and think it’s a perfect amuse bouche for those of you who view August as the beginning of the Halloween season.
Much like this staple from the Farmer Family Cookbook, an eggless and butterless Depression era classic: WACKY CAKE
Ingredients
1 ½ cups all-purpose flour
1 cup white sugar
4 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
½ teaspoon salt
6 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 tablespoon cider vinegar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup prepared coffee
Your preferred frosting
Instructions
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F
Sift flour, sugar, cocoa powder, baking soda, and salt together in an 8x8-inch ungreased cake pan. Make 3 depressions in flour mixture; pour oil into one well, vinegar into second, and vanilla into third well. Pour coffee over all, then stir with a fork until well blended.
Bake in the preheated oven until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean, 30 to 40 minutes.
Top with your preferred frosting
Best enjoyed after activating the amulet and sending Dracula’s forces of darkness into limbo.